Choosing love in the face of apathy

Since my last blog post I have been in a heart-sore place. While there are many wonderful things about Lesotho, my least favorite thing here is the crippling apathy that is manifest in every level of society from the way people drive, to the running of government offices, to late payments or worse non-payment of bills... there is this pervasive sense of resignation and nonchalance. It reminds me of the final words from Bohemian Rhapsody:

"Nothing really matters, anyone can see... nothing really matters... nothing really matters to me."

OK for a song I suppose, but for the mindset of a country... not so much.

Fighting against apathy is an exercise in futility - as Solomon wisely observed, it is like beating the wind. A tremendous amount of energy expended and very little to anything accomplished. It's tiring me in every way; mentally, physically and emotionally. 

Yet with this exhaustion, there has been peace and there has been joy too. I know God is with me in this battle and I'm discovering there is still so much in me that needs refining. It is when I am up against apathy that the ugliness in me leaps to the surface. I find that while I'm normally patient, in the face of apathy I easily lose patience. While I'm not using inappropriate language, and I'm not screaming, my delivery could certainly use more gentleness and humility. I keep asking myself, even though I'm upset by their actions, and what I perceive as a lack of care...

Is it my first priority in my interactions with Basotho, that they know I love them, can they see Jesus in me? 

I have a long way to go on the road to Christ-likeness, but I'm grateful that God continues to chip away at my character flaws. I've got to tell you friends, having the ugly in me brought out to the surface - it's not my favorite thing. Who likes having to stare face to face into their character flaws?

The Bible has something to say on this score too...

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." James 1:22-24

Do what it says... what it says more than any other thing is to love.